We hear constantly about whether or not mothers should stay at home to raise their babies and young children. After all, this is when their personalities are developing — personalities that will stay with these kids forever and that may be unalterable as these kids get older. So, the question posed to me was whether mothers stay home when their kids become teens. After all, that is when many say they are at risk to make bad decisions and are most vulnerable to peer pressure.
On the one hand, it would be good if a parent was at home to monitor the activities of these lovely but impulsive creatures known as teens. To get to know their friends and be in the wonderful position of knowing just how much time that teen is spending plugged in to the various forms of social media. On the other hand, I imagined mothers staying home and getting too actively involved in the lives of teens who are struggling to become independent.
My thoughts rambled on. I see no reason for women to quit their jobs when their kids become teens and similarly, for stay-at-home moms to rush out to find work when their kids become teens. Here, however, are some pointers for women from both groups. If you are a stay-at-home mom, keep your eye on your teen, but please try to foster the teen’s independence without appearing intrusive and overly-involved. They are not toddlers and do not need to be treated as such. For working mothers, I do suggest that you text your teens so that you can monitor their activities. They should check in with you and let you know where they are. An occasional stopping by home to check on things is an excellent idea so that they know that there is accountability. I believe that mothers on both sides of this debate can do a good and solid job of raising teens.
The conventional wisdom is that the little ones need our attention the most. But for moms who choose to switch gears and stay home while a child navigates the tricky years of adolescence makes even more sense.Once children start secondary school they aren’t just physically absent from the home more of the time, they begin a private, psychological retreat from which anyone who isn’t their own age is barred. You will realize, yet again, that what teenagers really want from both mothers is to get on with our own life, with the availability on fast-response about the teacher/best friend/urgent desire. The vast majority of this can be done over a phone.Waiting is good for teenagers, So is learning to be self-sufficient.
If one stay at home all day , Mom’s wouldn’t be able to bear the levels of mess in their bedrooms and would sneak in to tidy up. If a working mom, then the children are learning the hard way that elves don’t pick their knickers off the floor, that homework is not intended to be a collaborative effort, and that if they want brownies they had better find a recipe and follow it.
There are one of those emotionally bankrupt Remote-Control Moms who thinks she is being a mother when in fact she is just the family administrator. Maybe you are right, but a little independence from their parents is what children both want and need, so long as there are plenty of times when you are around to dry their tears and hear their fears.
When women say they are giving up work to spend more time with their older children, often what they mean is that they want a break and a change, but they can give themselves permission to do so only if they couch their choice in self-sacrificial terms. For a short while it will be heaven. After that, I wish them well with their choice of second career.
While the beginning of a child’s life may cement the bond between infant and mother, the following stages are generally believed to be the “quiet years.” Ages 5 through 10 or 11 are relatively easy to parent,adding that these years may be a good time for a working mom to zero in on her career. These are the years when kids “get into school life. It’s a very structured time of life. Then all hell breaks loose when the hormones come on.
Some people still think that a “good mother” is one who gives up work to stay home with her children. However, no evidence says children are harmed when their mothers work. A child’s development is influenced more by the emotional health of the family, how the family feels about the mother’s working, and the quality of child care. A child who is emotionally well adjusted, well loved, and well cared for will thrive regardless of whether the mother works outside the home.
A mother who successfully manages both an outside job and parenthood provides a role model for her child. In most families with working mothers, each person plays a more active role in the household. The children tend to look after one another and help in other ways. The father is more likely to help with household chores and child rearing as well as bread winning. These positive outcomes are most likely when the working mother feels valued and supported by family, friends, and coworkers.We are all trying to do the best for our kids.
For some that means staying home to be a guiding force in their kids lives from a young age. For others it means going to work to provide their children with more than the basic necessities of life. For some parents that means knowing that their career is inextricably part of their identity and giving it up would leave that child with a depressed and directionless parent who serves no one by staying home. Everyone is thinking and making choices. There should be respect for that process, even if the outcome is different from what you believe in.
What we have in common has little to do with how we spend our days. Both Moms have the same hopes and goals for kids, share many of the same opinions of the world they were raising them in, had so much in common to the cities lived in and the stories they shared. It’s worth it to keep an open mind and find people you relate to no matter how they spend their days.
None of us get a break.There is no break from part of who you are. You are a parent. If you aren’t physically managing your kids, you are worried about them. You wonder how you will get them to try new foods, make friends, and if your choices are screwing them up royally.Just ask the children themselves.
“The best thing you can do for your kid is be rich,” Good care can be a good thing.High-quality early childhood education programs can have a variety of positive outcomes later in life: better school performance, better odds of attending and graduating from college, depending on welfare, or becoming teen parents.
We know higher-quality childcare has been shown to even have some cognitive and social benefits for children as compared to lower-quality settings, Those improvements can be long-lasting, through elementary school. Parent’s mental state themselves also has a big impact on their children’s development, which is often related to their employment.Kids are happiest when their moms are happiest, We’ve had these long-standing studies that show women who have worked all their lives do better than women who stay home mentally and physically, even if the women are staying home by choice.
In terms of types of parental involvement, Newborn care is very labor intensive, but relatively easily as newborns/babies are portable and sleep a lot. Toddlers are harder and need the most direct and intensive supervision as they are actively trying to kill themselves (or incite you to do it for them), but they also need social interaction with other kids and do fairly well in a group setting. However, school age kids have more need for specialized supervision that cannot easily be given over to a caregiver. Teenagers don’t need direct supervision, but they have a large need for parents to be involved in their lives.
When children are in elementary school, mothers might do better to pursue paid employment and increase their family income rather than trying to be there to attend to their child’s every need.That is certainly controversial given our culture of over-protective, bubble wrapping parenting. But it also makes some sense. In a context where the child is reasonably safe, that kind of excessive attention may be disadvantaging a child’s capacity to cope. Rather than developing the necessary life skills for a lifetime of resilience, the child is constantly “done for” rather than being asked to “do for himself”.
It was reassuring (and often sad) to hear from moms who either regretted staying home or felt a loss of their identity. Our kids need us, but they also need time to figure out how to do things on their own.I felt it was a gift to be a mother and be present in their lives every day.
It’s a well-known fact that moms are pure magic. They devote, oh, I don’t know, their entire lives to taking care of their children, so it’s no surprise that there’s an unparalleled bond between us and our moms that lasts forever. Our Moms are amazing because the truth is, watching a strong and successful woman expertly multitask different aspects of life motivates children to follow suit. From infant-hood to moody teenage years to adulthood, our moms have been there for it all. And moms can do literally everything and continually prove themselves to be capable of the impossible, there is still a stigma that surrounds moms who are working a job other than being a mom. Let’s face it, there is no harder job than motherhood.
Some moms feel it’s best for their families if they stay at home, and others think the best option would be to have a job; either way, both options have their pros and cons. Let’s just establish that all moms support one another, and let’s stop pitting women against each other.Just like with everything else in life, balance is key, and working moms are capable of balancing their careers and their families. While it’s true that working moms are still on mom duty 24/7 (including while they’re at work), that doesn’t meant they’re not also focused on their careers. I know, it’s crazy that one person can do so much. But that’s why moms are superwomen who can, and do, do everything.
I knew an older friend of mine who said … her daughter asked why isn’t her mom working and comparing her mom to another working mom. Another instance of a working mom whose daughter was asking why don’t these offices work during Sundays … At a point of time, children need space, freedom and independence… they need the company of friends and not mother… But mother who forgone her career, friends and family will be doomed and feel lonely.This happens for everyone. It’s a natural routine.
If it’s a boy, then definitely after wedding they completely get into a different life where they may not get time for their parents, but that’s not wrong because he will have enough of things in life to do and support the family financially and emotionally.
If it’s a girl, then she had to look after her family and her extended family after her marriage. People might take her for granted while she spends her complete energy in pleasing all.
All Parents should have faith in your children that they will never forget you. They need to say to their children:
Hey my baby, you go further, reach the heights you want ..
Buy the best car you want…
We will always drive behind you in our old Maruti 800…
Just check intermittently your rear mirror of your car if we are following behind you…
The above lines simply means : My Baby, Be in touch with me always, that will do …But mind that our eyes are always on you, don’t dare to go out of the path…
The bond between mothers and their children is one defined by love. As a mother’s prayers for her children are unending, so are the wisdom, grace, and strength they provide to their children……